names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
