I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
