Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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