Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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