is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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