Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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