im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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