he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
how drunk are you?
Several
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
