My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
