I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
