so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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