I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
