I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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