I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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