She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
