I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
