how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
