i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
