If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
