Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
