anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Randomize
