I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
