I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
