you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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