Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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