every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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