There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
