playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
