it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
