I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
