I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
