I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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