I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
