nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
