And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
