i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
