Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
