i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
