it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
