what day is it and did you see me today?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
