Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
