This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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