she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
