I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
COCAINE IS GR8
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
