Christians are straight up FREAKS
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
