let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
