he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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