did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
