This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
