I have demons in me.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
