Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
