I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
